014. I used to believe when I was really little that if you mixed Pepsi and Coke and drank them, you would die.
013. I eat my ramen with hot sauce. Fight me.
012. I had to write a short story in my English class during my senior year of high school that needed to include our vocabulary words for the unit. In it, I killed off Stephenie Meyer. I used all the words correctly but I got a D for ‘violent content.’ I killed her by having a very large thesaurus fall on her head.
011. Once when we didn’t have cable for a month, my brother and I watched The Butterfly Effect and Grind over and over again until we got cable back. Next to Labyrinth, those are the two films I have seen the most.
010. When my brother and I were babies, my mum was told by our doctor to cut back on feeding us carrots… she was turning us a bit orange.
009. I think that cold pizza is one of the greatest things life has to offer.
008. When people see my hair just after it’s been washed and tell me they wish they had hair like mine, I want to impale them on the end of my comb. Because no, what you want is called a perm. If you had hair like mine, you’d probably spend 19 years wishing you had straight hair like a straight up white girl instead of getting the worst of your father’s Puerto Rican genetics.
007. I tasted candy corn once when I was little and the taste almost made me throw up. After that, every time I even saw candy corn, it would make my head hurt and make me feel nauseated. The sight of it still makes me wince.
006. I think eggnog is disgusting.
005. When I used to go to church as a child and we sung the song “Christ Arose,” I used to think the lyric was “up from the gravy rose” rather than “up from the grave he arose.” Watching people’s mouths when they sung in church was part of how I learned to read and that’s what it looked and sounded like they were saying.
